Hi my sweet friends,
So I really wanted to just jump in and have a heart to heart with you all. Coming that it's a new year in less then a month I felt it was time to reflect. What better way to reflect than with all of you.
This last year has been a roller coaster to say the least. I'm not even sure where to begin, there's been amazing times, good times, great times, fun times and down right hard times. I have grown, learned and flourished this year through all the lesson's I've learned.
With being in a bikini show (you can read about it here) to travelling, to changing my lifestyle, to becoming more & more healthy, to being engaged and then not, to becoming more confident, to learning more about myself, to growing into the butterfly that I am, to growing my blog, to becoming a business, learning to deal & how to cope with anxiety, dealing with loss, and finally moving back home.
Sheesh! That's summed up in a quick little paragraph but I never realized how crazy this year actually was and I am sure I am forgetting some stuff along the way.
Let me be honest friends,
I was engaged, living with the person I thought was the one and had a life with for many years. I was used to routine but then it all of a sudden it came crashing down, can I tell you it was scary? My friend's it was down right not fun, emotional roller coaster, life changing moment. I've had to learn to be on my own (including fiances) and what I can and can't do or buy anymore because it's now just me, I was used to a lifestyle for many years.
Then on top of that I loose out on the home I created and I am back home in a bedroom instead. It's DIFFERENT but let me tell you, its LIBERATING. Nothing happens in your comfort zone and if it scares the shit out of you, that usually means you need to do it. Easier said then done ( I know first hand) but know you are NOT alone. Being back home is comforting but limiting, I don't have as much space to spread out and let me tell you storage is, well...non-existent, let alone now I'm changing my parents life. Who would've thunk their daughter would be back home after having a life and moving out oh let's say 5/6 years ago now.
I am going to say this though, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am finding myself again after being lost, I am doing things that I love and that propel me in MY life. I am the type of person who puts other's on a pedestal and forget's about little old me, but the time has come for the year of LAUREN. We only have ourselves in the end and if you don't love you, how are you going to love or be happy with anyone else?
Next and I know I am not the only one out there, Anxiety. Guys it got bad, sometimes it made me sick, sometimes I stayed in and hibernated and sometimes it makes me dizzy & without seeing straight.
I researched and learned things of what triggered it and what to eat and not eat and what to drink and not drink. I tried and tried but it didn't go away and being a natural born worrier THAT did not help either. So I wanted to find ways to deal but not with a little pill & neither did my doctor (super thankful for that). I wanted all natural, figure it out on my own and own up to the things that gave me anxiety. Then my best friend told me about a Holistic Coach she saw and guys let me tell you it CHANGED my life. Bernadette (Agape Holistic) is a one of a kind, sweet, beautiful lady, friend & soul sister, she helps me realign, talk it out and refocus on myself. I can spew what I need and feel like I just had 10 therapy session in one shot.
This has helped my anxiety virtually disappear, It has also made me realize my goals, dreams and future I want for myself. She's made me realize what I want and what I already know but be more confident in believing it. Who I want in my life and come face to face with fears & uncertainties. I have now learned how to control it, I can drink coffee again (it used to make it worse, but I need to take it slow) and if I have a gut feeling about something listen to it, as it's there for a reason. Or if I have anxiety about something figure out why and own it. If it's not right, it's not right and if it is, it is either way it'll be ok and no one can tell you any different.
It's taken me time, change and realization for me to see all of this. I am so grateful I finally have discovered all of this and my true self (and I'm still on that journey) with the support of family & close friends.
Lastly Lovely Decor has grown over the past year, it's been around for 2 years (I know time fly's) but I wouldn't change it for anything. Its been another journey I have loved, it has taught me determination, dedication, hard work, how to write and how to really be me. It has grown from just a blog, to a blog & resource guide to a business. I can't tell you how much all of you and all of this means to me. I can be myself, help others and be my creative, free-loving self. There is so many exciting things happening and growing behind closed doors for 2017 I seriously can not wait friends. To all of you creatives, entrepreneurs and business owners or well all of you. Don't EVER give up, you don't know what lies in your future and give it your all. You CAN do it friends!
I wanted to take the time to tell you about me, my life and my 2016 in hopes that if someone reading this, is going through the same thing, know your not alone, you have a friend and you CAN do this. I am rooting for you always, you rock, your beautiful and BE YOU, never let anyone tell you different.
"The best adventures, people and meaningful relationships start when you are your true self."
2017 is a year for growth, success, learning and self love and I can feel deep down its going to be a big one, not only for ALL of you but for me as well. Make the last bit of 2016 great and open your heart, eyes & arms to 2017.
Enjoy your holiday, shut off from the world and spend time with loved ones and people you care about.
Your decor enthusiast, self-growing, heart warming friend.